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Bilbo has held his first frat party. Wakes up in the morning to a giant mess and alone. Is glad he slept one off instead of being involved with dragon nonsense.

Gandolf shows up and gets all pissy because Bilbo hasn't found a letter hidden under a clock. Letter details adventure and chides Bilbo for running late.

So Bilbo runs off on his adventure, that he thinks is a bad idea and has no recollection of agreeing to. In someone else's hat and cloak.

Gandalf shows up with hankies and Bilbo's stash. Bilbo is happy.

They walk for a long time. Past the towns and into the country and mountains. Weather sucks. Bilbo is cranky.

Bilbo is not the only one and Gandalf has run off. 

Three trolls with very un-troll-like names are nearby eating supper and being grouchy. Bilbo gets caught. (Of course.) Trolls discuss Hobbit Pie. They scuffle. Dwarves are really bad at intel and they all get captured.

Gandalf shows up as trolls are deciding how to cook everyone. Still, he stays out of sight and decides to screw with everyone instead.

Trolls are killed with sunlight and the dwarves thank Gandalf for nothing. They run off to the troll hole and go mad trying to open it. Bilbo presents key. Gandalf asks why Bilbo didn't help. Bilbo looks smug.

Everyone finds a weapon in the troll hole along with money, food, and a barrel of ale. They stuff themselves silly and sleep, then bury treasure.

Gandalf explains he was detained by elves, who told him of the trolls. Gandalf swears he returned because he felt he was needed, not that he had no hope that the party would stay out of trouble. Nope. Not at all.


Cross posted at Dreamwidth, LiveJournal, Insane Journal, and JournalFen.
My fanfic is archived at fanfiction.net, teshara.com, ArchiveofOurOwn.org, thepetulantpoetess.com, and adultfanfiction.net. Thanks for reading!

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