Not the one (teshara) wrote,
Not the one

Um... Woah....

So, I'm always sleepy and achy. Pat and me used to have huge fights over it. He called me lazy. I insisted I'm normal and then all of a sudden I'm wiped and have to sleep NOW.

I got a rash on my nose. It's been going on for quite a while and I finally got in to a dermatologist. They took some testing. At one point they had like 7 doctors in my room to look at me nose.

I should have known something was wrong, but they're a teaching hospital so I didn't think anything of it. I should have.

Call, Dr. House. It is Lupus.

They don't know how long it's been eating at me. They don't know if any of my organs have already been damaged. They can't tell me ANYTHING more until March. I could be dead by March, I'm not going to lie.

Mark gave me my engagement ring. I'm wearing it, but we don't know if I'd get better health care on my own or with his coverage, so we don't know what kind of wedding we're going to have. It just might be a religious ceremony without papers to complicate things.

I could live 20 years or I could die next week. What the hell am I supposed to do with myself?

I know, I know, finish Marriage Law LOL!

I DO understand that I'm being terribly melodramatic and I'm probably not going to kick it anytime soon, but they can't see me again until March! I'm allowed to staple the back of my hand to my forehead for a week. And we called all over and no one can see me until then, so I'm, all wound up.

Mark hired me to be a ghostwriter for a book he's been planning forever, so I've been tinkering with that. Then last week something just clicked and I started writing and drawing all day. It's like Marriage Law all over again.

The jittery nervousness actually does wonders for my writing. I'm officially a spaz.

We're going to start going to cons more often. I might start cosplaying, and not just as Nymeria the Sexy Direwolf. No time like the present to start doing all the stuff on my to-do list.
Tags: health
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